


A Clutch for Balance

by JGogoboots



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e08 Fromage, First Kiss, Hannibal's a pining cannibal with bad boundaries when it comes to Will, M/M, Possessive Hannibal Lecter, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompts, but what else is new, season 1 AU, sex in Hannibal's office, therapy will probs be sex and sex will be therapy after this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 14:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16020242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JGogoboots/pseuds/JGogoboots
Summary: His eyes darted from Hannibal’s to the ground and back again, the awkward reality of the moment hitting him all at once, hyper-aware of the way it felt to have Hannibal’s fingers entwined with his own.“You never did answer my question, Hannibal.” Will sucked in a sharp breath as Hannibal wrapped an arm around Will’s waist, pulling him against his chest.“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you,” Hannibal whispered, carding his hand through Will’s curls. His mouth hovered right above Will’s own. He could feel the short puffs of Hannibal’s warm breath ghosting across his lips. “You’re very kissable, Will Graham.”What if that scene where Will drives an hour to tell Hannibal he kissed Alana had gone alittle(read: A LOT) differently?





	A Clutch for Balance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [liebling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liebling/gifts).



> [@hannibalatemyheart](https://hannibalatemyheart.tumblr.com/) sent me a Tumblr prompt for some possessive Hannibal after Will kisses Alana. So here is my version of what I think some of us _wish_ Hannibal had done that night!

Will stood on the doorstep of the imposing three-story house and paused for a brief moment before frenziedly knocking on the door. He didn’t make a habit of barging in on friends unannounced…except when it came to Dr. Hannibal Lecter, of course. If he allowed himself proper self-reflection, there were many behaviors he considered permissible in Hannibal’s company that he didn’t otherwise. This was partly because Hannibal himself so readily excused them. Will might even go as far as to say Hannibal _encouraged_ them.

None of Will’s other “relationships” – his mind snagged on that descriptive word. Did he even really have any? His connections to everyone else in his life – Alana, Jack – were tenuous at best. Certainly not solid enough to lend themselves to any traditional classification. Then again, despite his growing closeness to Hannibal, commonplace definitions didn’t exactly fit their…whatever it was, either. They existed in some sort of relationship purgatory, volleying back and forth between categories – friend, colleague, patient, therapist – skimming the edges without ever landing squarely in any of those territories. The boundaries of their rapport were blurry, but somehow that only seemed to strengthen Will’s trust in him rather than erode it. Instead of being suspicious of Hannibal’s motives, what he _wanted_ from Will, their easy fluctuation from one role to another made it seem safe. If Hannibal wanted something from Will in the way people so often did (a stepping stone to fame in psychiatric circles, his empathy a tool to exploit for their own agenda), Will would have smelled it by now.

Then again, Alana hadn’t really wanted anything from him either. Or was that precisely the problem? Wasn’t that why he’d driven an hour here, anxiety-brain on full tilt as he pressed the accelerator pedal with a twitchy foot, window half-rolled down despite the raw winter air, his flushed skin in desperate need of a nerve-wakening blast of cold?

Hannibal opened the door, and Will elbowed his way inside without so much as a greeting, shaking off his coat before tossing it over a chair in the foyer.

“I kissed Alana Bloom,” He blurted out, striding past Hannibal in a huff, hands on his hips.

Will vaguely heard Hannibal say “come in,” but was too distracted to register it. His brain was lagging, catching up on everything in a few seconds’ delay. He followed Hannibal to the dining room, glancing curiously at the half-eaten meals still on the table. Wind was blowing in from the open garden door, billowing the curtains and filling the room with a frosty draft. Will noticed a few footprints in the snow.

“Did you have a guest?” Will suddenly felt embarrassed about his rash decision. Sometimes he didn’t know why Hannibal tolerated him. Hannibal was a man who valued order and etiquette in his life, and Will was abysmally unequipped in both of those areas.

“A colleague. You just missed him,” Hannibal explained as he shut and locked the door. He began to clear the plates and head toward the kitchen.

“Didn’t finish his dinner.”

“An urgent call of some sort. Had to leave suddenly. This benefits you because I have dessert for two.” Hannibal smiled, and Will followed him to the kitchen.

Will watched as Hannibal whisked some whipped cream in a silver bowl and placed a careful dollop atop two beautiful cylindrical portions of bread pudding. He loved watching Hannibal at work in his element, sculpting culinary art out of even the simplest of ingredients, the fine eggshell-white of the plate serving as his canvas. It was yet another reason Will was baffled that Hannibal chose to spend any of his free time with him. Hannibal was such a refined man, skilled in many fields in which Will had zero expertise. He hosted dinner parties with patrons of the opera and high society Baltimore figures in attendance. Generally, he didn’t keep company with disheveled semi-recluses. Certainly not ones who isolated themselves in the country and perpetually smelled of the seven dogs they lived with and the fish they caught that morning.

“Tell me, what was Alana’s reaction?” Hannibal asked, sparing Will a fleeting glance before he returned his attention to the preparation of dessert.

“She said she wouldn’t be good for me, and I wouldn’t be good for her,” Will confessed with a tone of regret.

“I don’t disagree.” Hannibal placed a dessert and a fork in front of Will, and their eyes met, neither speaking for a moment. Hannibal’s gaze shifted; he seemed to notice some note of defeat in Will’s own eyes.

“She would feel an obligation to her field of study to observe you. And you would resent her for it,” He clarified. Will bent down to take a bite of the dish, multiple fruit flavors he couldn’t name flooding his tastebuds, and could feel Hannibal’s observant gaze on him.

“I know,” Will relented, at a loss for what else to say. He _did_ know, but all the same, he had felt compelled to reach out. Alana was soft and kind, her gentle, inviting smile beckoning him closer. Will was feeling increasingly unmoored with every passing day, and it wasn’t getting any easier. For a brief moment, it had felt possible to transcend that persistent storm cloud, to halt the dissonant static in his head for just a little while.

“Wondering then why you kissed her and felt compelled to drive an hour in the snow to tell me about it.” Will looked up and saw a stern bend to Hannibal’s expression. There was something off in his pitch when he said it too. Resentment? Annoyance? Frustration with Will’s stupidity? He wasn’t sure.

“Well, I wanted to kiss her since I met her…She's very kissable.” It sounded a bit disingenuous to his ears. It wasn’t false exactly, but it wasn’t entirely correct either. It masked the root of the problem with something superficial, but that was an easier explanation than the more convoluted truth Will hadn’t totally unraveled.

Hannibal’s expression hardened with disdain, a look Will had never quite seen from him.

“It strikes me that this conversation is better suited to a more professional setting. I suggest that the next time you are overcome with the urge to drop in unannounced, you might elect to pick up the phone instead.”

Will frowned, taken aback by Hannibal’s suddenly icy demeanor.

“I thought office hours were for patients,” Will retorted. “Your kitchen is always open to friends.”

“Yes, well…” Hannibal averted his eyes and brushed a hand down the lapels of his jacket, smoothing imaginary wrinkles from the lavish fabric. “Perhaps I have been remiss in my negligence regarding our boundaries.”

Will let out a clipped, frustrated huff, but turned to make his way to the door all the same.

“Fine, I’ll see you for my standing appointment in two days, Dr. Lecter,” Will said bitterly. “Sorry to have disturbed you.”

 

***

 

The two-day wait was interminable. Will tried to stay occupied with the case, but Jack could sense he was distracted. A distracted Will was like gasoline to the flame of Jack’s impatience, so it did neither of them any good. Jack ended up sending Will home, telling him to get a good night’s sleep and come back when his head was where it needed to be.

As was often the case, the gods of restful sleep failed to pay Will a visit. He spent the following day idly biding his time, tinkering with boat engines around the house and going on a lengthy walk with his adopted pack until it was time for his evening appointment. 

When he arrived at Hannibal’s office, he was exhausted and petulant, a volatile combination that he knew would yield rather unpleasant results.

“Come in, Will.” Hannibal opened the door, his smile warm and holding no trace of the unusual ire of their last meeting.

They sat across from one another in the low-backed chairs in the middle of the room, both quiet at first. Will searched Hannibal’s face for some hint of what he might be thinking but found none. Hannibal could be maddeningly inscrutable like that; he was one of the few people Will had encountered in his life that couldn’t be cracked open easily with the mallet of his empathy. He required much more finesse and effort than most, and even then, Will always got a sense of something lurking underneath the surface that he couldn’t grasp. It was like plunging a blind hand into a hole in the floorboards. He could scratch fumbling fingers across the darkness, but he failed to distinguish the nature of what he clutched in his probing fist. Maybe one could determine the shape of it with touch alone, stretching their arm down into the tiny flaw in the wood until they almost reached the mysterious bottom, but without sight? It was a nebulous thing shrouded in shadow.

“Would you like to resume where we left off?” Hannibal’s low, rumbling voice jolted Will from his reverie. Will straightened his back and folded his hands over his stomach.

“Where we left off last session or where we left off two nights ago?” Will pointedly asked.

“Whichever you prefer. This is your time, Will. You should use it to address that which is troubling you the most.” Hannibal’s facial features remained placid. He was being irritatingly calm and formal, and it made Will’s jaw tighten.

“Alright, then let’s talk about my visit to your house. We didn’t get to finish our conversation since you kicked me out.” Will held Hannibal’s gaze, his chest rising and falling rapidly, anxiety and sleep-deprivation catching up to him.

“As I explained to you that night, I felt I had violated our boundaries. As your psychiatrist, it is my duty to establish – ”

“I thought we were 'just having conversations.’” Will heard his tone mounting in irritability so he took a deep breath as he waited for Hannibal’s answer.

“Yes, I thought a more casual approach might produce a positive response given your fraught history with the field of psychiatry. But as of this moment, I am reevaluating that decision. I aim to fulfill my role as your anchor and guidepost to the best of my ability.” Hannibal neatly crossed his legs, joining the long, elegant fingers of both hands over his knee. Will wanted to shake him out of his politesse.

“Our ‘roles’ have never been clear, Hannibal – ”

“I am aware, and that is what I am trying to remedy. Let us return to the subject of importance. You maintain that you have wanted to kiss Alana since you met her, yet you waited a long time, which suggests you were kissing her for a reason, in addition to wanting to.” Will smiled triumphantly at the note of urgency in Hannibal’s voice. He was still employing his analytical psychiatrist voice, but there was a crack in his composure. Subtle though it was, Will intended to widen it. 

“I heard an animal trapped in my chimney.  I broke through the wall to get it out.  Didn’t find anything inside.  Alana showed up. She looked at me, maybe her face changed, I don’t know.  She _knew_.” Will sighed, his heart thumping at the memory of how helpless he had felt, how unhinged and pitiful as she looked at him with a mixture of concern and profound sadness. 

“What did she know, Will?” Hannibal asked, his intonation gentler now, that brief glimpse of frustration or whatever it had been, eradicated. Will’s heart twisted with the loss of the upper hand. He hadn’t meant for the conversation to steer back to this, and yet he _did_ still desire Hannibal’s help. The matter of his hallucinations was no small problem.

“There wasn’t an animal in the chimney.  It was only in my head.” He was reluctant to admit it, but even given the current circumstances, it was easier with Hannibal. It was always easier with Hannibal.

“Did she say that?” Hannibal leaned forward a bit, listening attentively.

“She didn’t have to. It was only in my head. I sleepwalk. I get headaches. I’m hearing things. I feel unstable,” Will said, his cadence picking up speed as the anxiety pierced through once again.

“That’s why you kissed her. A clutch for balance.” Of course. Why hadn’t he realized that? Hannibal was the right person to come to. He helped Will make sense of it. He always helped Will make sense of these things, even when the task seemed insurmountable. A touch of warmth spread through Will’s chest, and he felt minutely soothed, the storm inside him quelled to a bearable level.

Also, he couldn’t help but notice that Hannibal sounded… _relieved_ …like he’d feared that Will had been motivated to kiss Alana for other reasons. 

“Because I’m losing mine,” Will quietly finished Hannibal’s train of thought.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, the deafening silence of the room only highlighting Will’s inner turmoil. He was so lost, everything steadily slipping from his grasp, and he didn’t know where to turn except here.

“As evidenced by your propensity to drive an hour to call on me in a moment of crisis, _I_ am a stabilizing force in your life as well.”

Will lifted his head, and their eyes met, a tenderness written in Hannibal’s amber irises that further mollified him.

“You really are, and I’m more grateful for that than I can tell you. I’m sorry for interrupting your night.” Will smiled apologetically. “I knew I could come there though. I knew I could count on you. Maybe I should have kissed _you_ instead.”

Will laughed softly but stopped when he saw the longing look in Hannibal’s eyes. It only lasted for a second before he redirected his gaze elsewhere, but Will knew he saw it. _That’s what this is about. That’s why you’ve been so upset._ But before he could comment, Hannibal spoke again. 

“In the interest of upholding the standard of honesty within our friendship, a precedent which I highly value and do not wish to damage, I must tell you something. Continuing to obscure this truth puts what little ethical integrity I have left at risk.”

“Okay…tell me,” Will leaned forward encouragingly.

“Had you chosen to clutch me for balance instead of Alana that night…I must tell you that I would not have been opposed to it.” Hannibal’s eyes softened, the corners of his mouth upturned slightly, the beginning of a nervous smile.

Will felt heat envelop his cheeks as Hannibal looked at him, a rare vulnerability displayed in his countenance. Will took in the perfection of his neatly combed hair, the odd curve of his mouth, and the intensity of his eyes. He was a gorgeous man by all standards, conventional or otherwise, and Will couldn’t pretend to have never noticed that. Still, this was an expected turn of events that Will wasn’t sure how to handle.

“Hannibal, as you said, our… _relationship_ ,” There was that word again, “is already a little muddy. Wouldn’t getting involved be contradictory to everything you’ve just said?”

Will didn’t tinge his voice with any scorn. He wasn’t angry about this development at all, just curious. His thoughts had wandered to Hannibal in that way, the heat of a shared gaze or a lingering hand on a shoulder making him wonder _what if_ , but he’d never indulged it. Instead, he had always halted the thoughts before they went too far. After all, it was already unfathomable that a man like him could enjoy a friendship with someone like Will. Even without considering the obvious complications, hoping for more seemed like a recipe for disappointment.

“Yes, I have failed to recognize the extent to which my own self-interests have clouded my judgment. For that, I apologize. It is extremely unprofessional of me, and that is why I am attempting transparency tonight. That said, I do not believe I was wrong about you and Alana.”

“The fact that you’re right doesn’t change the fact that you’re jealous, does it?” Will’s lips spread into a slow smile, and Hannibal returned the gesture. Will leaned forward again, bracing his elbows on his knees, closing the distance between them as much as he could while still sitting down.

“No, I suppose it does not.”

“I heard a change in your voice when you asked why I had kissed her. I never would have guessed this was the reason for it. Why do you…” Will swallowed and bit his lip, unwilling to give voice to his insecurities while well aware that Hannibal would draw them out anyway. He always did.

“Why do I want to kiss you?” His sultry voice made all the heat pool in Will’s belly, sparks of interest making their way down to his cock. Hannibal slid forward to perch on the edge of his chair. They were merely a foot apart now, but he didn’t reach out to touch. His posture was tight, controlled. Will didn’t think Hannibal would make a move unless he was certain of how it would be received.

“Yes!” Will exclaimed with a bemused laugh. “Christ, you could have anyone you wanted…and you have intimate knowledge of my _very_ specific damage. That’s enough to scare off even the most idiotic of people and you…” Will looked into Hannibal’s desire-filled eyes, and suddenly he didn’t care how ill-advised this was. Every small display of affection and shared furtive glance that had made Will consider the possibility suddenly seemed like glaring signals pointing to this very moment. “You are…far from idiotic.”

“Thank you, Mr. Graham. I do believe ‘far from idiotic’ is the tagline printed at the bottom of my business cards,” Hannibal chuckled, his hand reaching out into the space between them. Will met Hannibal’s hand with his own, and they both stood from their chairs, their bodies so close now that Will could feel Hannibal’s heat.

His eyes darted from Hannibal’s to the ground and back again, the awkward reality of the moment hitting him all at once, hyper-aware of the way it felt to have Hannibal’s fingers entwined with his own.

“You never did answer my question, Hannibal.” Will sucked in a sharp breath as Hannibal wrapped an arm around Will’s waist, pulling him against his chest.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you,” Hannibal whispered, carding his hand through Will’s curls. His mouth hovered right above Will’s own. He could feel the short puffs of Hannibal’s warm breath ghosting across his lips. “You’re very kissable, Will Graham.”

“Oh…” Will breathed, feeling rather ridiculous and unsure how to navigate this, but ready to see where it led all the same. “Is that so, Dr. Lecter?”

Hannibal nodded, tightening his fingers in Will’s hair and leaning in for the first kiss, the barest brush of lips making Will’s knees weak.  His tongue darted out to give Will’s bottom lip a couple feathery licks, but when Will lunged forward, Hannibal moved just out of reach.

“Fuck…” He gasped, his own arms threading around Hannibal’s shoulders in a desperate grip. “Stop teasing me.”

“No,” Hannibal said with a cheeky laugh. But when they looked at one another, gazes fiery and lustful, suddenly teasing was no longer on the table. Their mouths crashed together in a kiss that was almost violent in its passion, the release of months of pent-up sexual tension drawing a whimpering moan from Will, Hannibal’s tongue twining with his own, his arm firm around Will’s waist as he backed them toward the sofa.

As they fell onto the sofa, Will basked in the sensation of Hannibal’s weight on top of him, his proverbial anchor becoming literal in that moment, something so comforting about having someone to latch onto after being unbearably adrift these past few weeks. He raked his fingers through the soft, sandy-grey strands of Hannibal's hair, gasping when he felt the friction of Hannibal's erection against his own. Will spread his legs to guide Hannibal between them, linking them around Hannibal's waist to demand more pressure, more of the delicious slide of their bodies. Even through all the layers of fabric, Will felt like his skin was ablaze, and he wanted so much more. Hannibal tugged Will's bottom lip between his teeth with a ragged growl, and Will moaned his name, a high-pitched pleading sound.

"I swear to god, if you don't fuck me right here," Will exclaimed with a grunt of pleasure as Hannibal's strong hands gripped the curve of his ass. Hannibal laughed softly and nibbled on Will's neck.

"This has been a spectacularly failed exercise in the establishment of boundaries," He murmured into the crook of Will's neck, lapping at the tender skin with an eager tongue.

"Or a fantastically successful one, depending on how you look at it."

"A rare show of optimism, Will." Hannibal let out the most irresistible sigh of contentment as he sucked on Will's earlobe, and Will started to feel like he was in danger of soiling that poor couch any second now. He was awestruck by the glimpse he was getting into the lecherous side of Hannibal; he severely doubted anyone else had seen this contained, sophisticated man surrender to his lust in the middle of his office.

"Only for you, Hannibal," He whispered back. As he hurriedly fumbled for the zipper on Hannibal's trousers, he almost laughed at the absurdity of all this unfolding a few feet away from where they had sat every week as Will laid his soul bare, all his baggage unveiled in a way he never thought he'd let happen. Will was pretty sure this wasn't the result Jack had hoped for when he entrusted Hannibal with his psychiatric care. But as Will got on his knees, staring back at Hannibal's thoroughly debauched face, the refined man's jacket now on the floor, his tie askew and hair out of place, he couldn't help but smile at the unexpected hand fate had dealt him. And as Hannibal pulled his hair, fucking into the velvet warmth of his mouth until he came down Will's throat with a guttural groan, pulsing inside him as Will looked up at him like he'd never seen anything more perfect, Will couldn't bring himself to regret a single decision that had brought them here.  

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos give me life so I hope you will read this and let me know your thoughts on this dreary Monday! Special thanks to [Lady_Darkness](https://darkfannibal.tumblr.com/) for coming through for me to beta this!


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